Friday, March 29, 2013
About the heart problems? Turns out it was NOTHING. Okay it was something, PVC (not piping post ventricle something) but basically it was "nothing is wrong with you"
I was and still am like "ohhhh, all that suffering over nothing? Thanks." :(
I know I should be grateful, but I've been preparing for something bad and to have it be nothing is like bracing yourself on a roller coaster. You expect the next hill to be perfectly horrifying but instead what you get is a lame little dip that doesn't even make you blink. Kind of a let down and good waste of a couple weeks. Next time something like this happens my smart little mouth is staying closed, not worth the money or the worry, especially if its nothing.
I'll leave the whining to my characters, :) they have more of a reason to whine than I do. :)
And the worst part is, it's not over yet, I get to see another doctor who is going to say the same thing (prediction) oh well once I get over being angry at nothing (and guilty because I've wasted my parents' money, oops) it'll be okay. I'm miffed over nothing (haha get it?)
Thursday, March 28, 2013
I just finished a book and now I don't know what to write. It's very sad. :( I'm wavering between writing a new draft for an old book or a new book, can't decide which. :)
Also, the new class that I'm going to sucks as bad as the one I left. People seem more interested in getting hit in the head with a pile of bricks than talking to me. I quit, after this year is done, I'm DONE with that school. I'm going to a new one and can officially say, "good bye!"
Yeah, it's that bad.
Oh and sad news, I'm still having heart problems. It's getting kind of scary, especially since at night, I can't breathe properly without a fan blowing cold air in my face, which is reasonably cold and I get to go to the doctor's again tomorrow. Yay, at least it means I can have an excused absence for the class that is torturing me. Yes, it's true, I'd rather be at the doctor's than there, is that hint about how bad it is?
So that's 'bout it. I'm a little cranky with English, and History. I'm sick of writing essays and learning about things that happened while someone talks in a monotone. Monotones have never been cool, ever. :)
Oh and I have a new picture for my tabs thingy, the dragon is cool, but you only see half of it, (the rear half even!) when it's on Blogger, so I'm switching to a new one, and here are the pictures of my boot heel that popped of last week.
Yeah, this is my hand. Meow right?
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Right away I need to inform you that I'm a Christian, I believe in a Heavenly Father and Divine Son, Jesus Christ and most importantly I believe that they care deeply for us ( the fact that I'm writing this on my iPod while walking around and haven't tripped on my face is proof of that!) anyway, I've had a little miracle that I want to tell you guys about, first off I need to say that I'm a boot person I collect those suckers like vintage and one day whilst I was walking around in my backyard wearing one of my fave pairs a lovely pair of combat boots the bottom part of the heel fell off and I didn't realize it until much later when I noticed that my footprints looked really weird, I didn't do much about it and thought that it was gone forever when it snowed several inches the next day. A week later (today) I was walking around again ( this time in Converse shoes, I learned my lesson!!!) and I thought about the bottom of my boots heel and felt like I should pray (yes I'm a praying person I firmly believe in the power of prayer, especially today) anyway I was dismissive at first, but then I decided to pray. Less than 15 minuets later (I kid not) I found it!!!! Lying in the grass in a place I didn't even think to look!!!
God is real, and more importantly, He cares about us so deeply that a silly little miss ex boot heel is important to Him because it matters to us. I'll post pics later I can't get to them on my iPod but I really did find it I'm holding now, and that sucker is getting put back on my boot via superglue.
That's all :)
Monday, March 25, 2013
That's NOT normal.
Since 9:10 it has 'jumped rope' nearly twice for every passing minute.
Hello, doctor? There's something wrong with me that you're not seeing. Hello, parents? Same deal.
Here's my lovely list of symptoms, just so I can get it out on paper
*Heart palpitations (frequently!!!)
*Short of breath
*A feeling like I'm out of my head (make sense? Or maybe it's just me being me in that case jk :D)
*Sick of people who tell me that there's nothing wrong with me
Look, my heart just did it again, and now I'm sure I'm going to puke. I feel so out of myself it's crazy, anyone have a rope that I can use to tie myself back to myself?
No one can pinpoint it, maybe I'm overreacting, maybe not, and EVERYONE is getting frustrated with me, and it makes me feel like a problem. I'm sorry this is happening, I didn't ASK for it, seriously.
And for the record, I DID try to Google diagnose myself (oops) it wasn't any help. I'm not old or fat enough to get anything and I'm getting this sneaky impression that I'm actually loosing weight without doing much for it, I'm too tired to exercise properly. Perfect right?
Come on people, what's up? What's wrong with me?
I know I sound angry, but I need to tell someone, and my heart never palpitates at just the right time, like at the doctor's office, after they were done with the test, it did it, go figure right?
I'm not anxious about anything (okay, I'm worried about THIS) and oh sigh, I'm blathering. Back to math :(
Yours sincerely, the extremely worried and clammy and wishing she really WAS invisible, Tayla Durham.
I've had a shaky weekend, which reasonably sucked, but it didn't stop with the weekend's end (?) Want the story? Well, here it is. All last week (everyday, frequently, I counted on Friday and it happened 19 times!!!) I've been having really weird heart palpitations (five bucks says I spelled that wrong, I can't even say it) been feeling extremely weak, short of breath and slightly nauseated. What's wrong with me? I honestly can't tell you, neither can the doctors, they SAID they'd call back yesterday ("expect a call from us tomorrow morning," exact words) but they didn't bother to call, and yet the problem still remains.
Sorry for all the parentheses, I just noticed how many are there, but I don't have the world's best attention span at this current moment (oh look, butterflies!!! Oh right, I'm typing :D) I'm not entirely sure how worried I should be. On one hand, I'm showing symptoms to some horrible diseases (never try to Google diagnose yourself, by the way) and the palpitations are happening way too much to just be nothing, but then again, nothing super serious has ever happened to me before, except launching myself off a swing and breaking my pinky in two places, that was definitely a killer, but at least I had a nice cast to whack people with. Seriously though, the doctors didn't seem overly concerned when I went on Saturday concerning this weirdo health problem. I was a shaking leaf, but they were like, "eh, whatever."
Seriously though, the problem has gotten worse. I REALLY wish that someone could find out what's wrong with me and how to stop it BEFORE I go insane from it, it's just preferable, you know, it's nice to keep your sane mind, which I'm currently lacking, lalala. ;)
Oh and whining moment, I had to have blood drawn, (don't laugh, Brianna, my friend thought I said something else when I told her about this yesterday :D) which was really tough, never had it happen before, it makes me REALLY grateful for Lindsey Stirling, her music kept me from passing out when the nurse missed the veins in my right arm and had to jab me again in the left one!!!
Yay, right, nothing like health stuff to make your day perfect.
Oh happy news though, I finally finished Entangled, 2nd book in my Twisted series. I skipped a whole lot of stuff because I didn't know what the heck was happening, but it turned out all right, I know NOW, I'm bringing back a wyvern called Steve and a wraith called Chikego (speaking in the Karkruffian language, Chikego roughly means 'willful servant.' Shoulda been 'idiot moron' for how intelligent Chikego is.) to help me out with this problem, and yes, I know, I'm blahing.
Holding my breath (actually I'm not, I can't spare anymore breath and risk getting more light headed, I'm crazy enough already!) that this health problem won't be majorly serious, and I swear, I will TRY not to diagnose myself on Google, but it's hard when you don't know what the heck is going on inside of you. :(
Friday, March 22, 2013
Yeah, I don't really have anything to post, other than the fact that I am completely thrilled about the idea that I can switch math programs, I SUCK at math, I suck so bad, it's like a black hole. Hopefully this new math program will be easier to handle and not make me want to beat my face into a wall, that kind of and reasonably hurts.
Anyhoo, I am happy to share a new song that I found with you, it's by Christina Grimmie and I positively love it, I downloaded it after listening to it about 1 and 1/2 times and now I can't get enough of it. :)
It's about...no, I'll just let Christina tell you.
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Anyway, so it's scheduled. Twisted is going to be edited on April 23, which means more waiting. Sigh. I've been waiting since November of last year to get it edited, but I suppose that I can wait a bit longer, after all, the best things are worth waiting for.
But sometimes waiting can be really hard and the 23 looks so far away.
Yeah, so in case you were wondering about how the class thingy went yesterday, it was fine. I sat down and a kid named Justin came and introduced himself to me, I was reasonably shocked that he had noticed that I too, like him, existed. I'm not entirely sure why he talked to me, perhaps it was an answer to my prayers, I hope so and I hope it wasn't a one time thing, Kelly Clarkson put it perfectly "I don't want to be left behind."
And about my violin, ah, I love it. I found a song that I'm truly passionate about and my practice times went from a straggling 40 to 50 minuets to closer to an hour and a half. I'm also practicing playing with music, and it can be difficult to keep up! Oh well, I'll just keep trying (see, I CAN think positively) yeah, so I'm thrilled about that. Reasonably.
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
I know, I know a real negative thought, I am trying to think positively, but the last time I did that (start of this year) it practically went down the toilet with an atomic flush when the first class sucked so bad I felt like I had drowned in toilet water.
Yeah, so I sent the email to the editor telling her that I've got my book formatted and I'm just waiting for a reply, quite anxiously, and biting my very short nails (I used to keep them long, and then I started playing the violin long nails and violin strings do not mix) every time the ring tone goes off telling me that I have mail, I get all excited, only to learn that it's not from the editor. I want my 2 years of hard work to pay off! So yes, I'm excited to have my book edited, plus I like reading about what people thought of my book, makes me feel really proud of my characters, they just grow up so fast, one moment they're static little things that come to life on your page, the next dynamic characters out to change the world, it's just so *sniff* heartwarming. :')
Monday, March 18, 2013
Yeah, so on top of that, I'm doing okay. Kind of sad because Lindsey Stirling is coming to my state to perform, and I can't see her because she's performing in a club of some sorts and I won't put myself into that kind of environment. :( Hopefully she'll come back and perform in a place where I can, so for now, I'll buy a t-shirt of hers and support her like that. :)
I love her music. FYI, especially, Zi-Zi's Journey, I like the echoed voice in the background of that song. :)
Oh, and the problem with my class in school? Well, I switched it to B days and I am praying with my fingers crossed that there will be SOMEONE reasonable in that class and that I don't get stuck with a freshman as my partner again (don't mean to offend, I've just left a horrible freshman partner who spent most of the time talking to his idiot buddy (pardon my French) rather than working with me like he should have been) and I'm sick of that kind of behavior. Come on people, act like your age, we're not in grade school anymore.
You'd think by now people would get that, but they don't and I've been suffering through 17 years worth of it.
Whatever, not worth getting all hissy about, but I'll probably be whining about this tomorrow or on Wednesday if the class goes badly (as I'm predicting it probably will, lack of faith on my part? Completely, I feel dried out from all these horrible social failures that make me happy that most of my friends are fictional and I get to decide what they do) look I'm whining already :)
Oh well, carpe diem, mates.
I hope your Monday goes better than mine is starting, but I did have chocolate for breakfast, (chocolate Chex! Yum!) so I'm just waiting for that sugar to kick in and I'll be fine.
Friday, March 15, 2013
What does this have to do with anything? Nothing really, I'm just really happy today for a change. I've been kind of miserable ever since January, and now that spring has FINALLY come (hey 60 degrees is WARM compared to the 9 degrees we got once during winter) don't get me wrong, I like winter, around Christmas, but in March snowstorms and white mornings get kind of old.
Anyway, I've gotten my book nearly ready to be edited, I've written my miserable little blurb that took a lot of brain power to figure out, and I had to keep it under 100 words, and guess what? I topped at 99 words, shaving it close? Just a little.
Anyway, here it is, my miserable little blurb about my book.
"On a night in December, two months before, the Nansterdome castle was attacked by the fiend that haunts the Dreamway Mountains, the Secret Keeper. It took nothing but a single relic, a piece of black glass with glowing green veins within a copper frame. Part of the dreaded Alliancer that had been destroyed one hundred and seventy years before. To retrieve this piece of glass and stop the Secret Keeper, the king of Nansterdome creates a plan. He plans on tricking the Secret Keeper into the open by using a thief to steal the remaining relics. But the thief has other ideas."
I'm not really fond of it because it doesn't say enough about the story, or Aster the Terrible and he's my main character!!! Plus it makes the king of Nansterdome (King Walrus...er sorry, Wallace) look like a super hero and hate to say it (actually I don't) he's not. He's a big fat king that thinks that a healthy-sized king shows a healthy kingdom when in reality, he's fat and the rest of the kingdom is starving. (Biggest Loser candidate!)
My grandma phrased it perfectly when I showed her a picture I'd drawn of King Wallace, "He reminds me of a king, fat and lazy."
I nearly busted a lung from laughter.
Oh and final thing, my third video is published :)
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
I finally got to email an editor! I have been waiting for this moment for years! It's going to take some work to get my book ready to send to her, but this news makes me really happy. All my hard work finally taking me somewhere!
Now if I could just get there with my knitting (just kidding)
Oh and yesterday I learned an important lesson, I've been having trouble with appreciating my own playing on the violin because I'm not 'as good' as someone else. It doesn't matter. I'm better at playing than I was last month, or even the day before. Who cares if I'm not as good as someone else? I only want to be better than I was yesterday.
In case you're looking for an editor, she responded within 12 hours of my sending the email. I can't WAIT to work with her on my book. :)
Monday, March 11, 2013
Curse Benjamin Franklin and his ever so brilliant idea for a time change. I don't agree.
Oh, I'm not writing three paragraphs today, I'm too tired, and kind of grouchy, plus no one else is doing my challenge, so why bother? (Sorry, moment of discrete depression)
Oh more fun news? I get to go to the class that torments me today. Yay. I'd drop it if I could.
Sad story to go along with all my randomness in this post today, I woke up on Saturday with a throbbing leg, it still hurts today, shifting positions REALLY hurts, it's still a mystery to what I did. I'M not really sure what happened, only that it was hurting like three days before and exploded on Saturday. Either I did some injury then, or I slept so violently, I broke something. Huh, never heard of that one before, almost as stupid as me hurting my knee just by sitting down.
Friday, March 8, 2013
Don't I just look lovely in it?
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Now I just need that to get through the rest of this week. :(
Anyway, today is my violin lesson, I've been stuck on Minuet #1 for a month, exactly today. I hope I can get rid of it, but hey, in this month, I've gotten REALLY good at playing it. Yay.
Oh and little confession moment, I'm kind of turning into a LOTR nerd (don't tell my siblings!) I can't lie and say that I like the books because as of yet I can't really chomp through them, (there's just too much going on in one page) but I DO like the movies, especially the nazgul. They inspired my wraiths, and heck besides reading Fablehaven by Brandon Mull (yay his third book in Beyonders is coming out next week!!!!) I don't think I knew what a wraith was before then. Now I know too much. Oh well :)
Go Witch King!!! Kick some Frodo!
Mordor! Mordor! Mordor!
Monday, March 4, 2013
It's like trying to milk lemon juice from a brick. Kinda painful.
It makes me want to do this really,
Anyway, so here's my solution.
I'm not going to write it anymore.
Yeah, that's right.
I'm not writing it anymore.
This is a simple technique I like to call, "run away before your brain blows up."
I'm not quitting, oh no, I'm just going to go work on another project BEFORE my head blows. I mean, I'm already nuts enough, (as seen by my latest video) why should I risk anymore craziness? Yeah, so I'm going to let this book sit for a month and then come back to it in April when I've gotten all done with writing another book. Hopefully my sudden streak of being unable to finish a book will NOT continue. I'm sick of starting and never finishing, (see picture above)
Oh and for the record, I'm REALLY happy that the weather is warmer, if you can consider 31 degrees warm, but it at least LOOKS warm, and that's all that counts :)
Friday, March 1, 2013
I made my first movie on how to write a book!!! Yay! The crowd goes wild. I won't say much, just watch it, you'll get more out of it. :) Yeah, I went kind of nuts with the movie program I used (Serif Movie Plus) but it was a lot of fun, who doesn't like watching themselves talk in slow motion?
Anyway, stay tuned, I'll be posting the second video next week :) it's on how to start and then organize your book.