The Clawed Beast that Rises at Noon and Midnight

Okay so I've spent the last few weeks being grouchy on and off. Today however I actually woke up happy.
Sort of.
I'm also really glad that I'm not a wraith and therefore I cannot see in the dark. I woke up at five this morning ran to use the facilities, came back into my room, flipped on my light went back to my bed and happened to look up at my ceiling in the general area of my door. I'm sure my jaw dropped, hanging on my ceiling, upside down was a spider that was about half as bit as my pinky finger, maybe a tad bit smaller.
We had problems with those spiders before, I had like three in my room last year. They're so huge and ugly that I started calling them Goliath spiders. Well named, they're the biggest type of spider I've seen in my freaking room!
I stared at the spider groaning inwardly, moments before I had been thinking about how much I hated squishing spiders because it's work. If they're outside, big deal, I don't care. Inside my room? that's treading on personal property. I don't take very lightly to that grievance.
I was half tempted just to let that sucker go, but figured, one way or another it would end up in my bed and that I could not bear the thought of.
I watched it and sighed, "Right now would be a really good time to own a shot gun."
I geared up pulling on my knee-high boots (Anything shorter wouldn't suffice for such a big spider) and a hoodie to keep it away from my skin as I silently prayed that I wouldn't get bit.
The spider crawled to where the wall met the ceiling as I was pulling on leather gloves, started crawling and then fell onto the floor where it sat there and then skittered towards the door. I plowed down on that sucker with my boot making it seriously regret ever stepping one of its eight legs into my room. It was gross.
I've only seen one other spider on the ceiling, literally upside down before. It was kind of odd. It also reminded me of the Secret Keeper (yes, here I go talking about my characters again, hey, can't help it comes with being an author =D) because I compare him to a spider, calling him the spidery king of an imprisoned castle. Most of my characters are compared to animals so you can better know their personalities. Spiders like to hide, weave webs and wait for their prey to come, they rarely venture out into the open and when they do, it's either quickly or with careful intentions of getting to safety. They do their work and return to hiding. That's how the Secret Keeper is, and like with a spider, if you bother him, he'll either flee or attack you.
Amaarzar (he's one of the bad guys, in case you forgot =D a wraith with a highly dominate personality, kind of like the Witch-king of Angmar) is a shark. Curious, nasty, always looking for prey, for someone to attack, he doesn't bother to hide very often because everyone already knows he's a threat. When he smells blood, he's on it. He's a bit more careful than a shark, still looking for safety, and I'm starting to realize that he has a different side than the one he's let me see for the past two years. He's got a practical joker side which makes sense. His living self was a practical joker, that personality won't let go of you very easily and Amaarzar's pranks tend to be rather nasty.
I'm also starting to see that he's sarcastic as well, but I guess that makes sense, I'm a sarcastic person and it would be hard not to let that part of me shine through such an important character. I'm sorry that I'm blabbing, but this is an important realization for me. My little character has grown up! Gotten his own personality, going out in that big world and leaving momma's wing. It's just so *sniff* heartwarming.
Okay granted, Amaarzar certainly wouldn't need protection from me. more like the other way around. That shark is not something to mess with. He's a conniving devil and the only one really up to snuff in combating Amaarzar and actually having a chance at survival is the Secret Keeper and that's because the Secret Keeper is just as broken, just as hurt, just as nasty, and defensive.
Your characters really pick up parts of you. I see it everyday in what my characters struggle with. Some of them reflect my weaker side, others my strong side and what I wish I could be. Amaarzar for instance reflects the bitter anger I feel when someone hurts me badly. Betrayal. But that really isn't spoken about with Amaarzar, he doesn't speak of what happened to him and what caused him to fall. It is however spoken with from Aster, who's best friend betrayed him.
I've had so many people do that to me. I can even remember one of my bestest friends looking at a magnet my mom has on our fridge that reads some friends are forever and saying to each other, "we'll be forever."
I can't even talk to her now and sometimes I even forget that we WERE friends. I wonder if she ever remembers best friends forever?
The bitterness may come out strongly from Aster, I apologize, but it hurts when someone you trust and love turns their back on you. Aster, the Secret Keeper, Amaaarzar, they're all defensive, protecting that inner part of themselves that's been bitterly torn, wanting to be healed, but not knowing how and not wanting someone else to nurse the hurt. Watching them, writing their thoughts all made me realize that I can be exactly the same way. When I'm scared of being hurt, I grow claws and fangs and turn into a raging beast. I don't know how to fix this part of me and this is why I really connect with Amaarzar. The other two find help, get relief. Amaarzar never does.
I know these words probably mean nothing to you now. But when you read my books, it'll be easier to understand what I'm saying. I hope. I'm currently writing a part where my only female protagonist who's POV I write from is discovering something about the Secret Keeper, words he wrote before he fell into darkness. I hope you understand, but I'd like to get back to that, it was really intense. So until then :)
If my words confuse you, leave a question, I'll try to clear it up without giving major spoilers. I'd like to blab about my books! But that would totally give it away for you!
Here's something that may help.
Aster is a thief and my main character.
the Secret Keeper is a hideous wraith with a mysterious side mixed in with the nastiness, I write from his POV in the second book when you won't hate him as much for being so nasty.
Amaarzar is a wraith and the Secret Keeper's enemy. Amaarzar is the leader of the antagonists you meet in the series. Mostly.
POV, is a fancy way of saying point-of-view. :D