I Win >:)

First day of summer vacation. Ahhh. How did I celebrate it? By sleeping in. Okay 8 in the morning is still early for some people, but I just spent the last eight (or is it nine?) months waking up regularly at 5! 8 is a nice break!
Also I tossed and turned until about one last night so I think I deserved a sleeping in.
Anyway, I've come across this brief decision to help me to overcome my feelings of "my book sucks. no one will like it" yadda, yadda. I've decided that I just don't care. People can like it or not like it. Big deal, I'm not writing for them I'm writing for me. Because I love writing, it's part of who I am as a person. My brain is constantly swirling with ideas and stories that I'm telling myself (so if you meet me and I giggle at random, it's not because I'm crazy! I'm working with my story and a lot of my characters are hilariously sarcastic, (yes, the ever-famed Secret Keeper is among them!)) so yeah.
I don't care.
That doesn't mean I won't have panic attacks. Sometimes when I look at the successes of others, I feel like I've failed. But I have to remind myself that JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE ELSE SUCCEEDS DOESN'T MEAN THAT I AUTOMATICALLY FAIL! In other words, someone else's success is not my failure! I can't judge how well my book will sell by looking at how well another one did, and I seriously doubt the author of that book would rub it in my face! Unless they were like super mean, but you know, that's their problem, all the other authors I've meet (both in person and over the net, (ha! net! I feel so technical now!) have been really nice and encouraging!
Look as odd as this sound, we authors are like a really close knit group of friends. We all suffer through the same aches and pains of sitting for hours on end as our brains struggle to be creative. We need to encourage each other up, and all those people who want to write a book.
So yeah, I sort of went off topic there, but you get what I mean right? I don't want to feel like I've failed because my book that hasn't been published yet isn't being read as much as say, Fablehaven. I love those books BTW, Seth is such a moron, it's hilarious! Brandon Mull got the spirit of a young boy exactly right! We applaud you Mr. Mull!
Yep, it's the eight-thirty pep talk I usually end up giving to myself almost everyday! I write because I love to write. That's it. Not because I want money. Yuck. Actually I like things the way they are (though I could do without baked potatoes, some people consider them worth eating out, I don't even consider them worthy of the rubbish bin!) but I'm terrified that my computer that is almost as old as I am is going to give out! I'd cry! All my hard work!
Cry, then, I'd kill it. How dare you die!
Yeah,
Oh and on the news for the lawnmower? No, it's not dead, but it's dancing on that line. My dad sharpened the blades so it helped, it was like we were trying to cut the lawn with a butter knife, not a sword. Oops :)
And on a more worrisome side, my health issues have been getting worse. I'm in pain practically every time I move. Breathing is a struggle, at night it's so bad I want to put an ice pack on my chest to help! The palpitations have practically been knocking off my feet and I have positively NO appetite. Not even for pancakes or waffles! It's sad!
And then I found this really odd patch of skin on my stomach, it looks like a bruise with scaly skin on it and it's spreading! Same odd kind of bruises on my legs. So uhh, nothing eh? Nothing would go away right? This is getting worse!
Okay, for those of you who made it through my health worries (sheesh! A proper diagnosis would be REALLY nice! To the past three doctors I've been to read my lips, THIS IS NOT NOTHING!!!!) anyway, I finished the Fellowship of the Ring in a week and some days. I nearly cried when the Nazgul were washed away, and I've discovered that I really, really hate Ewoyn! I'd throw a rock at her to distract her as she was fighting the Witch-King. I know, awful, but she reminds me too much of certain girls that I know! And yes, I've seen the movies, well, most of them, I skimped out on the second one to pace out ideas for the newly forming world of Twisted.
Not convinced of my status as a nerd yet? Well, I bought the Lord of the Rings lego Wii game! I even practically begged my younger sister to help me buy it! Okay, she offered to help (I love my sister!) and I think I may have her getting nerdy about the Lord of the Rings, though she may only watch and read it for the same reason as me, the Nazgul. :) and Aragorn, I'll admit, he's pretty cool. I was amazed at his bravery in the movies.
Confront five wraiths? Forget it! I'm off the other side of Weathertop!
Fight and octopus thingy that's eating Frodo? Um...I'm off to the side cheering them on.
In other words, I have the mentality of a thief, something my good buddy Steve from that class readily agreed on. A thief spends most of his (her!) time finding ways to survive, and forget winning the stupid jewel by fighting, I'll just steal it! This would all be provided that we lived in medieval times (namely Twisted!) But even then, I'm not about to go take something that isn't mine! I couldn't get away from the guards!
Okay, I'm done. But now that it's summer, I'm going to have a hard time nabbing a computer with the Internet. My sisters are computer addicts (when they're not playing Twisted with me, I have them well trained! They know exactly who is who, and who you run from or not!) so please forgive me if my postings become sporadic! :) Have a good summer y'all.
Great, now I'm a nerd and a hick!