Back Again

I know! Long time no post! I was on vacation last week (Tuesday through Saturday) and I didn't want to post anything because I wanted Elsie's interview to be seen. Also I was using my dad's laptop and I've never actually used one before so I was kind of struggling to get anything done. The replies given during the vacation were the only ones I dared to give. Hopefully I'll become better at the whole laptop thing, because I cannot spend the rest of my life using a crappy Windows '98! One of these days my PC is just going to die, and then I will kill it because it took all my hard work with it to the grave. ;)
Yes, so I've also discovered that despite what I thought I was ready for...I wasn't. My book came from the editor on Saturday. I was kind of relieved because apparently while we were on vacation some bozos were going up and down my street stealing people's mail. A lot people lost checks and major bills and some of our neighbors went out with a petition to get a locking mailbox. I was terrified that my book had come and that they had stolen it. I would've pulled a Nazgul and hunted them down. I've waited for nearly 3 MONTHS to get it back. Some freaking bozo isn't going to steal it from me!
It's mine. My OWN. My precious. :)
But it came, so every thing's good again I mean like less than fifteen minutes after we came home. I want to stick an old banana peel into an envelop and put that into the mailbox and see what the mail-stealing-animals have to say about it.
So as I opened it my family gathered around me (no pressure!) and my dad recorded this apparent historic event. I'm sure I looked lovely, we'd just gotten back from vacation, I'd tossed all my cool clothes in the wash and was wearing my less-than-attractive clothes and my hair had that vacation look that I'm sure you all know, that shaming mop that you're too tired to fix until you get home...yeah.
I also couldn't get the package open! I had to borrow my brother's pocket knife (yes the same brother that told me to stop complaining. We have a love-hate relationship, but it's getting better. He took great joy at making me fly (literally) on the trampoline on vacation) to get past all the packing tape. And of course, to mark how absolutely cool I am, I opened it backwards.
I spent about an hour hole-punching it, I have this thing about binders, I don't feel organized unless my book is in one. And then I started to read my book and the editor's markings. She used a purple pen, so it felt a little less shaming than a red one, and at first I was like "Yeah! I totally agree with that!" "Dang! Why didn't I catch that sooner!"
But the further in I went, the more I felt stupid for not catching those mistakes sooner. The more I wasn't sure if my editor had liked my book, or hated it.
The more I wanted to quit.
The more I blamed that stupid little possessing demon for entering my mind and EVER making me think I could write a book.
Now, a whole two days later, I've found that deep reserve that pushes me forward. I agree with my editor on some parts, others, not so much. I even went through with a couple of her suggestion last night when I couldn't sleep. I wandered through my darkened basement (I live in the basement BTW, so darkness and spiders, no big deal. Most of the time) and discovered that when I'm afraid, I pull my arms up close, get tight, and want to go somewhere comfortable where I know I'm safe.
Good thing to note.
Yeah, so I'm going to be really busy for the next little bit, I'm marking up my own book as much as my editor did with things I want to change. Like a little bit of dialogue from the Secret Keeper. I read it and went he wouldn't say it like THAT! I feel so proud that I know him well enough to know how he'd say something. :)
Also, after a lot of thinking and prepping myself, I know that I've learned a lot since the last time I actually went through and wrote Twisted from start to finish. I've written a few books between then and now and I can see where I made those beginners' mistakes.
I found it funny, that my editor eventually got so sick of writing the Secret Keeper that she did what my brother made up and that I follow now. She wrote his title as the SK. I write it as TSK. Much easier to handle that way. I laughed when I saw it.

Here's a song I found years ago for all of you who feel that you're dreaming but nothing's happening. Remember, it's one thing to dream, quite another to actually get up and chase it!
Tayla D out! ;)