Why Won't It End?

It seems like I'm stuck in a spinning world (okay, so I kind of am) where some things won't end. I'm trapping myself in this endless cycle of being okay at times and other times, I'm freaking out about my book. I can go through it and read it like it's candy (because we like, read candy) and other times I'm repulsed by my own writing, "This is awful!" and "Why would anyone want to read my book?"
Two thoughts that I'm basically haunting myself with. I look at the success of other authors and I feel so horrible because my book is doing nothing and I have to pull the reins on that runaway horse, my book isn't published, I don't KNOW what will happen.
I'm trying to get out of this cycle, but I feel stuck. I do okay, and then I watch something on YouTube and I start to sink back into that hole...and then I have to fight to get out of it. Sigh.
Another thing that won't end is the school year! Ugh! 3 weeks and 3 days seems incredibly long! I'm going CRAZY! I want it to end. I'm sick of school. I like learning, but after 11 years of this endless cycle, I'm getting kind of tired of the school way of learning. Endless notes, endless classes, endless days...uck!
Anyway, but at least on the upside, it finally looks like spring and we got our first thunderstorm of 2013 yesterday, and my family was picnicking in the middle of it. It was great fun. I was happy when it rained and didn't snow. I like snow...in winter! Not a month after the official start of spring! Now I just need to survive until June, but June is starting to look like a day dream. I won't make it *gasps.*
Sorry, I didn't mean to just sit here and whine, but I had a rough morning. I struggled through exercise, actually I struggled through everything! I've felt sick since waking up and I've been dizzy for two days straight, I can't even walk a straight line at times, it's kind of funny especially when I'm pretending to be a character who'd never bobble in his step (cough! Amaarzar! I'm horrible at being my main bad guy, he's so chilled and calm in his wraith way of being calm, that me, a bubbling bouncing ball of energy cannot compare to him at all, I'm only calm when I'm asleep!)
I also had a really stupid song stuck in my head all night and listened to the radio, something I only do when I'm desperate, namely because the Wi-Fi was off and I was too lazy to turn it back on, trying to get something else stuck in my head, but nothing would stick! Except for Selena Gomez's new song, Come and Get It. Finally Taylor Swifts 22 got stuck in my head. The angels sing. I want that stupid song out of my head. It's sooo annoying! :)
Yeah, that's about it. I'm still communing with zombies, probably ghouls now. There isn't much brainpower going on up there and I hate zombies so I wouldn't commune with them unless I was trying to annoy one of the higher ranking undead, and why I'd do that, I don't know. I'm a wimp (I even took a test that confirmed this fact! I'm a coward and proud of it!) and would probably pass out cold if I actually met one of my wraiths, and only a few of them could handle my craziness! The rest would be eyeing me with annoyance probably thinking "What is wrong with her? Did she get struck by lightning and her brains were fried? Why can she hold still!? She's so annoying!"
Yeah, back to school now. :( but at least there's only 3 weeks and 3 days until the end and I may get more interaction with horses than I ever had in my life! Wooo!