Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Really Unstuck

I've been stuck in the same rut for about two weeks now. It was always the same negative thoughts over and over and over again and again and again until yesterday when I SNAPPED. I couldn't take it anymore, why couldn't my book be on a best seller list, why wouldn't people like it, why should I take up knitting when I can't even use a sewing machine? (Last one, personal joke :))
I can't exactly lie, I have a bad habit of always looking on the negative side, and it's really difficult to twist my thinking into looking at the sunnier side of life, until I watched Lindsey Stirling's "I'm a Mormon" video. I need to retrain my brain, my negative thoughts are only digging me a hole, and the only way in a hole to go is down and I've dug myself a neat little hole straight to rock bottom, when you reach there, the only way to go is up. I'm using the shovels I used to dig myself down as a ladder to climb out. I'm SICK of being a slave to negative thoughts and actions, they were like a massive chain I had to drag around and since I've made the choice to just drop it, I feel so much lighter, it's amazing!
It has also helped with my writing, I had to literally drag myself over to my computer to sit staring at the screen hating everything I wrote, now, I'm accepting it and loving it. Writing is supposed to be fun, if it ain't some thing's wrong.
Oh, and my little personal victory, I managed to memorize Taylor Swift's The Story of Us on the violin in a little under two weeks. The last time I tried to memorize a song that long, it took me forever and I dropped it because I didn't feel any passion for it, just goes to show, it's hard to do anything you don't feel a passion for, so gain one. Living is meant to be enjoyed, not just endured, if all you do is grit your teeth and wait for the next thing to hit you, you're going to be going to the dentist quite a lot. :)

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