Last night was the group lesson (or dress rehearsal for the recital tonight) and I spent the entire day fretting about it, getting to the point that while I was practicing, I kept freaking out at myself for messing up on the notes of every song.
I really didn't need to do that, it was fine, it was actually fun, which is a big improvement because I really don't like social gatherings, I've spent too much time as being eccentric and not accepted by other people. This time however, it was okay because we were all musicians, and to be a musician, you have to be at least a little eccentric. :)
I played my song pretty well, only messing up once, I thought that if I messed up, I'd have a heart attack and die right there on the floor, but no, I just went to a place I knew I could play from and it went okay. I was still pretty shaky, and I don't remember anyone clapping because I was so desperate to sit down again. Whew, quite the workout, who knew having bad nerves could be a workout program! (We're going to see that on the Biggest Loser next!)
I'm not worried about the recital anymore, amazing right? I spent the entire week WORRYING my head off and after the group lesson, I'm not worried anymore, mainly because I saw that it's okay to make mistakes. You just restart and keep playing (you also smile and pretend like you PLANNED to do that) it's not like this is Broadway, or the Trans Siberian Orchestra. (I'm just glad I'm not playing in front of Lindsey Stirling, I admire her to death, but if I played in front of her, BAM, she'd be trying to revive me after I passed out cold without even picking up my violin)
Yeah, I have to fess up, 64 days worth of playing hasn't made me professional. But I guess it's kind of impressive that I'm playing in a recital after two months. Guess I should stop selling myself short.
Now we just need to see how I do in the recital. Just thinking about it, and my hands are all shaky again. Oh boy.
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