New Year

Hey ya'll.  Yeah I know it's been a while since I posted anything, but I kind of wanted a break from the internet and social networking, I'm back now since school is starting again tomorrow. :(
Well I hope your New Year celebration was better than my family's, we were all too sick to really do anything beyond cough and light fireworks that were incredibly lame. We did roast marshmallows over a candle which was reasonably fun and odd and shouted at the New Year criers in our neighborhood, also enjoyable. Hehehe. ;)
Though I do have sad news. My computer has been retired. If you remember I've been writing on a Windows '98 for the past three years, and yes I wrote Twisted on a computer as old as my house. It began making some worrying noises, so I gave up on it and retired it. The hardest part was saying farewell to my old keyboard. I'm not used to the new one that my brother is letting me use.
Yeah. I'll probably write more tomorrow, I'm not looking forward to going back to school. I'm really sick of financial lit. It's REALLY depressing and I'm TIRED of it. Oh and I went to a place asking for a job and haha get this, the website said that they're hiring but when I went there and asked this mooching woman (before I could finish my sentence, mind you) said "Look online to see who's hiring because we're not hiring right now."
A little fumbled I replied, "But you're website said that you were." (five bucks says that the website has been changed.)
They handed me an application and I was like glad I got all prettied up for this, because before I went there I was all set on spending the day in my pajamas. So thank you lady. Not so sure I want to work there now.
There has to be somewhere that needs me right? Seriously. Now I can see why people get frustrated by job searches.
Well that is my goal for this lovely year. Get a job, work my hiney off so I can start college in the fall semester.
Which also reminds me of a little irritation I got during the holiday break. I'm a very unique person (how unique you might ask? Well today I chopped off the toes of those weird toe socks and I'm using them as fingerless gloves. Unique) and sometimes people can't handle that uniqueness and apparently my cousins are some of them. Every family part without fail they treat me like I'm that pile of dog doo sitting on the sidewalk. I wandered from room to room during that unfortunate family party wondering why I had been so set on going and talking to my grandmother.
I guess it's also because big words like to crop up into my conversations. I'm not the smartest cookie on the plate, but since I began writing I know a lot of big words (like supercalfragilusexpect...something) and when I try to joke with my cousins they just stare at me like I grew another head.
What makes it worse is that my siblings do it too. Ugh! I was trying to joke with my siblings and cousins, but every time I tried, BAM! they just blinked at me and gave me that polite laugh that I really, really hate. I'd prefer it if they didn't laugh at all. I'm trying to get over my shy mode. I no longer sit and stew over how I wished people like me. I'm tired of the endless worries about what people are thinking about me and why they don't like me. I don't care.
This I don't care, can't make me care attitude has apparently been noticed, one day in class while having one of those stupid write what you like about this person tralalla! sessions of torture one person wrote on my card how she liked that I am me.
And apparently myself is not cool enough to meet with the high standards of my cousins. Tayla says sniffily. Big deal. If they're not willing to accept me in my weirdness that's their problem. I'm tired of being knocked down by idiots who can't accept me as me.
Long story short I'm trying my best not to be that shy little girl in the corner anymore. I realized that I've grown up this holiday break. I slapped on an itchy sweater I got for Christmas looked in the mirror and realized whoa! I'm curvy! it was an odd realization. I've grown up. I've realized I'm not fat, I'm curvy and I will probably forever remain 5'4 but I've realized that I no longer care about wishing myself to be someone else. I'm happy as I am. I've found out what it means to be Tayla Durham and I don't want to change that.