Up and Not so At 'Em

I've been having a hard time keeping my head above the surface lately. I'm sure we've all had days like this. I've got good news though.
First and foremost, I couldn't sleep two nights ago so I got up and cleaned my closet. How is this good news? Well it's been a mess for...I'd say two years. Everything was packed in there with the shove it hard and then run concept. Well it's clean now. Voila. How clean? Well I didn't have extra shelves before. Everything was packed in tight. Now I have enough shelf space to empty out a bookshelf that I don't want in my room anymore.
Who knew a clean closet could make you happy?
I didn't even run into any spiders and you'd think that a closet that messy would be their dream home. No spiders, not even any webs. I've found more in my room. (Yuck!)
Second bit of good news. I may get a job. It's a writing job so I wouldn't have to leave my comfort zone. I have power with words. On days when I'm really into it I have the power to make my readers laugh, cry, feel angry, or find joy. So I figure why bother leaving my passion?
I'm not saying much about it now because I don't want to jinx myself. I don't know if I'm going to get hired and I'm not sure if I should be hopeful or dreading because in this economy...just kidding. When conversations start like that I generally roll my eyes and walk away.
I know it's time for me to get a job, and hopefully I won't have to go kicking and screaming as I was planning to before. This option kind of slapped me in the face and said "hello? Right here!"
Anyway, not really looking forward to Thanksgiving. Time of pleasure and joy right? Haha. Not really. It's been hard because of the sudden lack of Jason. Plus no one in my immediate family seems able to cook potatoes unless they're baked potatoes. On that note no one in my family seems to like potatoes that much either, even though we're 50% Idahoan on my mother's side.
Mashed potatoes are the main center piece to Thanksgiving right? Yuck. They're always, ALWAYS burnt. We sometimes joke that our dinner bell is a fire alarm because of the burnt potatoes.
Plus I'm getting tired of the over advertised Holidays. I was at a store with my dad and heard a commercial for fresh flowers. Get them fresh for Thanksgiving. It was about a week before the holiday. I rolled my eyes thinking that in a week your fresh flowers would be wilting a little. Ooh so fresh.
As for my last post. I'm better right now. It seems to be this roller coaster where I'm fine in the mornings but as the days wear on towards evening everything builds up leaving me with the sincere desire to scream. Last night I managed to fight it by writing. One of my characters (you don't know him yet) was going through the same thing I was. Fighting to stay above. I almost cried with him because I was able to express myself on a page.
See? That's what I love doing. Writing is something I don't ever want to quit. Twisted helped me survive losing a sister and growing up. I was able to channel frustrations into words. That book is probably the only reason I'm still here writing this right now and not in some loony bin. Angry? Frustrated? Sorry characters, it's being taken out on you. ;)
In other words, right now I'm treading water. The storm will start up again, a guarantee. Why am I so unable to handle what never bothered me before?