You ever had a day where you regret getting out of bed? I had a week of that. Every day I wished I hadn't bothered to get up. Long, dull days full of frustrating events and never ending humdrums.
Yada, yada.
Yeah. I'm not the brightest star in the sky right now. In fact I may even be a black hole. But you know three red heads in a room makes a black hole so right now I'm 1/3 of black hole.
At least next week is Thanksgiving break. I'm so tired of school. Of worry about assignments and getting everything done (blah blah blah) that I don't even care about the Holiday. Plus I feel particularly ugly because last week in a class I sat by a boy as I was walking out I saw him with two other girls in the class who were prime specimens of the females of this species.
I feel rather inadequate right now and I've even found myself mentally apologizing to people for how ugly I am.
Yep. Bad week. What's causing this? No idea. I really don't. It must be November. Two years ago I went through a really dark time, it's what left me with the understanding of how it feels to walk in darkened paths. It's why I can really hike up the emotions when writing from the Secret Keeper's POV (haha, knew it was coming ;D)
Plus a friend who I didn't think cared about the whole exercise stuff started losing weight and got the start of a six pack and I feel like a bus next to a slim sports car. It feels like part of my comfort has been torn away because my friend started caring about this.
All because of her dork boyfriend who called her fat.
I want to punch him. Don't doubt the power of this girl. She can ride a freaking 1,000 pound animal. Okay Gypsy is probably only 900 pounds, but that's still a lot. By the way she dropped his sorry butt. Nobody is allowed to insult her the way he did. I'd take my violin (Squishy!) and beam him up top the head.
Yeah anyway. My excitement levels are very low. It would probably take a bomb to get me to even blink and then I'd probably be like "yeah, whatever."
I regret climbing out of bed. Not nesscarily going to institute this morning at 8 when I would have much rather of been sleeping. I gave death glares over at that boy. Great way to make friends, I know, but the claws are returning. My inner she-devil is starting to crawl back up. I want to scream, really, really loudly.
Wouldn't it be nice if we could all have instant boyfriends who aren't dwebs? I used to not care, now I'm seeing all these hot guys with gorgeous girls and I want to curl up under a rock and die in my ugliness. I have never been on a date. The only boys who showed interest in me was a kid in kindergarten and that was because we shared the same letter at the end of our names. Then Steve last year.
Yep. The ponderings of a grouchy girl. Stick around it will probably get interesting.
I dread next week. What woes will come with the lightening of a new dawn?
What a rotten week! You know, I think a depressed pity party is okay from time to time because it makes you feel all the better when you rise above it--as long as you do rise above it. Are you feeling any better? I hope so. Don't let that guy in institute make you feel worthless--he's not worth it.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if you'll see this as good news or if I'm about to splash a little more frustration on you--I hope you don't think I'm trying to criticize anything you're doing--but I noticed a writing job online. BKA Content is looking for people to write marketing articles for them. I applied for it and I thought you might be interested so I'm also passing it on to you. I realize this isn't the same as writing books and drawing up meaningful characters, but I figure writing experience of any sort is helpful. Anyway, if you're interested you can apply by going to: http://www.bkacontent.com/for-writers/
By the way, if you are interested, don't be intimidated. They start you out with a quiz that I know you'll ace and then they have you read over training that warns you have to be able to write at a college level. Trust me, I've read your book. You don't have anything to worry about.
Get feeling better.
Thanks Rachel. your job offer thingy is an answer. I'm going to apply because I'm sure you've noticed but I really, REALLY hate the idea of working in a fast food chain. What is BKA Content? Thank you for giving me the link, I wish I could reach through the screen and hug you because you have made my endless week of "grrr" turn into a smile that's going to break my face. =D
DeleteI'm not really sure what BKA stands for, but it's a marketing company. They are hiring people to write search engine optimization articles--basically, you would write about a thousand random products and then they post the articles online to help the client company show up higher on a google search. You work from home online and you can do as much or as little (within reason) as you want. They give training during the application process and they explain it in more detail. This isn't just for a single opening so we're not competing against each other. I'm glad the news made you happy. I worried you'd take it as me getting on your case about your employment status, and that was not what I was trying to do. Good luck!!!!!
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